Art of Transliness

Zak: If you’d feel even somewhat comfortable doing so, I’d suggest sending an email to the people you’ll be seeing explaining your situation (that, in case they haven’t heard, you’ve transitioned so you’ll look a little different but that your family doesn’t like to talk about it and they don’t acknowledge it) beforehand. This will prepare them for the situation and hopefully prevent some of the awkwardness that might come up if they come in without any knowledge of your transition or parental acknowledgement of it. Obviously you do not need to get into the specifics about your transition and your family’s response to it, but just give them a basic set-up of the situation so they know what to expect when they see you.

Zak: It’s easy to feel transition envy, no matter what stage you are at in your transition. Adrian and I have had multiple conversations comparing our transitions, appearances, and mannerisms in a way that conveys that, despite how generally happy we are with ourselves, we still have things we are jealous of that the other has. The thing to keep in mind is that almost everyone, regardless of their gender identity, experiences feelings of envy toward other people. There are probably people out there (yes, even people who have been on blockers since age 8) who wish they had certain traits of yours. The fact of the matter is that you wouldn’t be you without your life experiences that brought you to the point you are at now. I know that sounds cheesy, but that is honestly how I’ve dealt with it. It’s frustrating when I see trans* guys I really admire, respect, and appreciate and notice that their scars are so much less noticeable than mine, that their hips look so much smaller, etc. It’s easy to seethe with jealousy in those situations. However, I know for a fact that at least some of them are looking at me and finding small imperfections in themselves that I don’t have. Keep in mind that the people you are looking at may not be perfectly happy either. 

Nobody is perfect, and it is (of course) not a personal failure of yours that you didn’t have more awareness of your gender identity when you were pre-pubescent. At this point it is one of the things you can’t change, and so it is something that you need to let go of. This is easier said than done and might take a long time for you to accomplish. Turning your focus onto the positive things about yourself and your own experiences, and trying to move forward, can help. 

Zak: I don’t know about the specific context of this article, but synthetic testosterone is technically any testosterone that is not actually produced inside your own body but is rather produced in a lab. Sometimes, however, synthetic T is contrasted with “bioidentical testosterone,” which is a synthetic testosterone that is chemically identical to the testosterone produced naturally in the human body. In this article, they could have been talking about synthetic versus bioidentical testosterone (in which case, I don’t really know the difference, but you can go here for more information), or synthetic versus natural testosterone produced in the body that is raised by some using natural transition instead of hormone replacement therapy. In short, I don’t know for sure whether or not the article was referring to any testosterone one would get a prescription for, but it is possible. 

I’m not a doctor by any means (I took entry level biology and anatomy and that is it), but as someone who takes testosterone that is not produced in my body and has talked to my doctor quite a bit about it, I can try to answer this. Some of the things you list are definitely not true, others are probably not true, and some might be true but I don’t know. I’ve definitely noticed an increase in musculature among trans* guys on HRT, myself included, and I can tell you that I don’t work out at all (though I did pre-T). While I know a lot of trans* guys with a lot of body hair, I seriously doubt that synthetic T causes people to have more body hair than the average cisguy. I think most trans* guys wish that it produced more facial hair than the average cis guy, because I don’t think that is what is generally experienced. 

All of those things are pretty unimportant compared to the “pretty severe health risks” that you mention. This is where things get more complicated. I highly recommend talking to your doctor about your concerns, since we aren’t really qualified to give medical advice (and I’m not sure if the person who wrote the article you mention was either). Other than that, I highly recommend you check out Hudson’s FTM Resource Guide, which contains a lot of very good information about testosterone. The page on Testosterone and General Health essentially addresses all of the potential side-effects and health risks of testosterone in a really detailed way. I don’t know if I could classify many of them as “severe,” since most are pretty on par with the health risks of an average cisgender male. However, testosterone, regardless of where it comes from, in higher levels for many years can raise the risk of a lot of different problems with one’s reproductive organs if you have those bits (many doctors recommend having a hysto after about 5 years or so on T, if not earlier). In many ways though, we don’t fully know the health risks of synthetic hormones, which makes this difficult to answer. There are quite a few trans* guys who have been on hormones for 10+ years that we can look at, but not a lot of medical studies. For some, this in of itself is just too risky. However, working closely with a doctor who is monitoring you very carefully for the common risk factors testosterone raises (which is essentially required for a prescription in the US and many other countries) puts many more at ease with this. 

Hope that sort of clears things up.