Art of Transliness

Zak: I don’t think it is unusual for people to feel a little bit lost after losing a large aspect of their identity or when going through major changes. I know a lot of people who transition after identifying as lesbians often feel a sense of loss from losing that aspect of their identity and the community around that identity. So, I don’t think you’re alone in feeling strange that you’re not an unconventional queer female anymore.

As someone who was out as a lesbian and active in the lesbian and feminist communities at my school before I started transitioning, I can kind of empathize with what you’re saying. It is weird to me that I have male privilege now and that I am no longer visibly queer. It’s also something that I’ve more or less gotten used to, as who I am now is my new normal. The journey from point A to point B was a long one, but I don’t really know how to tell you how to reconcile your feelings other than to say that you don’t need to buy into the patriarchy to be a man, and you can still be unconventional and queer as a guy.

Zak: The closest thing I can think of is UK FtM Information, but it is more of a community blog. I can’t really think of any other trans* Tumblrs that are UK specific. Anyone else know of any? 

Zak: Some airports do body scans, but you can always opt out of them (I’ve done this myself a few times). It’s usually faster and easier to just go through the body scan, but if you opt out than a TSA agent will do a simple pat-down instead. They’ll assign you an agent who is the same gender as you, which means that who they give you will depend on the gender they read you as. They avoid your crotch area, so you don’t have to worry about any awkwardness of having a bulge there, particularly if you are being read as male. If you keep it in your luggage, they might not mention anything. If they do, it might be embarrassing but you certainly shouldn’t get in any trouble. Keep in mind that the TSA has seen pretty much everything at this point. 

Zak: There ARE top surgery options that don’t involve major scars, such as the periareolar method. This is typically an option for those with smaller chests. Prominent, U-shaped scars are associated with the double incision method. For more about the different methods and their pros and cons, see Hudson’s Guide. Adrian had the peri and I had the DI, so we like to take pictures to compare our results a bit. We haven’t done one in awhile, so this is quite old, but it gives you an idea of what the results can look like for both: 

As for scars, a lot of people have different feelings about them and so whether or not they are something to worry about will probably depend on your fiance. They do tend to fade with time and some people even get tattoos over them to cover them up. I had my top surgery in 2011 and my scars are still pretty noticeable, but it doesn’t look like I got mauled by a bear or anything. I’ve gone without my shirt at the beach, swimming pool, etc. and haven’t had anyone come up to me or give me strange looks. At first I was really insecure about it, but it’s become just a part of my body that I’m comfortable with. Having said that, I know some people are really uncomfortable with their scars and really dislike them. This is what my scars look like more recently, this picture was taken a few months ago when I was about 1 1/2 post-op (I’d take a more recent picture but the lighting is bad in here right now): 

Sorry for the selfies! 

What scars end up looking like depends a lot on the individual (some people scar worse than others) and the surgeon. As I mentioned before, things also change a lot with time. To give you a good idea of that process, I’d recommend checking out Ryan Sallans’ website since he documented his top surgery from right after surgery to 7 years post-op. You can also look at the results from a ton of different people who have had various surgeries from different surgeons over different time periods at transbucket.com (you do have to register to see pictures, but it’s totally worth it!). Other than that, I think the best research is talking to other people who have had top surgery and looking at their results. The “periareolar,” “top surgery,” and “double incision” tags all have numerous pictures as well as blog posts of people discussing their surgery and surgeon choice. 

Hope that helps! If you or your fiance have any other questions, feel free to ask!