Art of Transliness — I’m not close to my extended family (it’s not a hostile relationship. I just don’t see or talk to them often). I haven’t felt a need to be out to them. They’re not a big part of my life, and I’m pre-transition. However, my cousin is getting married, and I’m concerned about what I’ll wear. I would be most comfortable in a suit, but I’m worried that will be too much for my family. But I don’t know if I’d be comfortable in feminine clothing. What are my options? Is there any way I can compromise?

Answer

I'm not close to my extended family (it's not a hostile relationship. I just don't see or talk to them often). I haven't felt a need to be out to them. They're not a big part of my life, and I'm pre-transition. However, my cousin is getting married, and I'm concerned about what I'll wear. I would be most comfortable in a suit, but I'm worried that will be too much for my family. But I don't know if I'd be comfortable in feminine clothing. What are my options? Is there any way I can compromise?

Anonymous asked

Zak: Before I was out as trans, I always wore clothing from the women’s section that looked like men’s clothing to formal events. My go-to outfit was a pair of black women’s slacks and a white button-down shirt. No one complained because I was technically wearing women’s clothing, and I felt more comfortable than I would have in a dress. Your family might still find your outfit unsuitable, it really depends on your family’s personal tastes, but it might be a good compromise for you. Slim and skinny cut men’s khakis are so in right now that you could probably even get away with wearing men’s pants if your family doesn’t police what you wear too much. Hope that helps.

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Notes

mightybearfalconlives said: They could wear something kinda causal, like a fancy shirt (maybe a loose sweater or fine fabric blouse?) and a pair of nice pants.
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