Art of Transliness

Zak: This is a pretty common concern for trans* men, one we’ve addressed before several times. Not only does this vary from person to person, but I think any changes are a combination of hormones/biology and social/emotional factors. It is nearly impossible to tease out what personality changes are due to testosterone and what changes are due to personal growth, increased self-confidence, decreased dysphoria or anxiety, the differences in the way one is treated by society, and self-fulfilling prophecy (“I heard that testosterone makes men ____, I expect to feel ____ on testosterone, and so I do allow myself to express _____ more on testosterone and end up more ____ on testosterone”). A major life event or change is going to affect your personality, as will hormones, but it also isn’t going to undo years of life experience or change your basic temperament. A lot of guys report having more difficulty crying or expressing their emotions, or feel they more often respond with frustration instead of sadness when confronted with difficult life situations. Early on in transition, it can be difficult to get used to one’s changing body, and that can be emotional in its own way (very similar to puberty). 

A lot of guys worry that testosterone will turn them into insensitive, angry, sexist men who cannot express their feelings. That just isn’t true. Some trans* guys are like that, sure, but it isn’t some chemical change that made them that way. The emotional effects of testosterone are much more subtle than that. Personally I full-on cry much less, but I tear up just as much as I used to (my body just doesn’t produce tears like it used to, I don’t know). I’m still just as sensitive although just a little bit more mellow, which I at least partially attribute to feeling comfortable with my body and less dysphoric. Again, these sorts of things vary from person-to-person.

To get a good idea of what changes people have, it’s a good idea to hear from a wide variety of people. Often anecdotes are not nearly as helpful as they seem to be, since the partner of an ftm could view their partner’s decrease in romance to be due to testosterone when it could really be the fact that their partner is pulling away because they feel their partner isn’t able to share in their excitement about their transition. I’m not saying that’s the issue in that case, I’m just saying that there are a million different reasons why someone would change their behavior, emotional expression, etc. Yes, testosterone largely plays a large role, but I wouldn’t discount all the other stuff that comes with social and physical transition. I also wouldn’t worry too much about it. It is certainly something to consider and is very real, but also not nearly as major as some people make it out to be.