Give your favorite brew a manly mane of (facial?) hair with the Beard Coozie ($7). Made from crafting fur that’s mounted to a stretchy band for maximum beer container compatibility, they feature a “mouth” opening to let a portion of the label shine through, and will instantly make you the coolest drunk at the party.
Taken from Uncrate.com
A blog post for Gendercast by Gilligan in which he discusses balancing being stealth with being an advocate for trans*-rights and how advocacy and identity intersect.
Zak: I just bought new glasses from 39dollarglasses.com and found a good pair that fit my face by paying careful attention to the total width and lens height listed on every pair of frames. I ended up with frames that have a width of 130mm and a height of 23mm, so kind of small for men’s glasses. Searching for smaller frames this way will work if you have a good sense of measurements. Other than that, I’d recommend going to a big glasses store and just trying on as many pairs as possible until you find something that suits your face. I’ve found the sales associates at places like Lenscrafters are very helpful with this sort of thing, although they are pushing an agenda so it’s probably best to bring someone with you to help tell what looks good on you. It’s also can be helpful to keep it in mind that different frames are more flattering on different face shapes and can make a huge difference in how you look.
As for watches, I totally know what you mean. The style right now seems to be giant, clunky watches for men. Luckily that wasn’t always the case, and if you are able to find a more vintage or classic type watch, those tend to me more reasonably sized. If you buy a metal watch with links you can get some of the links taken out at your local jeweler in order to make it better fit your wrist. Personally I wear my great-grandfather’s watch and it is the only watch I’ve been able to find that fits my wrist. It’s in a classic style, so smaller, and has links that I was able to take out to make it fit. You can also find watches that are specifically advertised for men with smaller wrists. Timex also tends to make watch faces that are a little less bulky and would look more normal on a smaller wrist (for example, check out this watch). It is also fashionable right now to buy different nylon straps to change out for the same watch face, which are super adjustable and can help ensure your watch fits you well.
An organization dedicated to helping transgender youth in the US. Has a pen pal program specifically for trans* youth.
Zak: Other than boosting testosterone levels through diet and exercise or taking supplements (see natural transition), there isn’t a whole lot that I’m aware of you can do. Even with testosterone some people have very little body hair, whereas others have a huge amount of body hair pre-T so a lot depends on your genes. If it makes you feel any better I know a lot of cis guys who go through a lot of trouble to remove their body hair so it is actually kind of in to be a bit hairless.
Zak: We’re not experts or medical professionals, so it’s tough to answer this questions. It sounds like it would be better than ace bandages though, because one thing that is dangerous about ace bandages is that they are designed to tighten with movement which can further restrict breathing and damage ribs. It sounds like you’re just using a homemade binder, which should be fine as long as you’re able to breathe comfortably.
I’m in love with a trans guy! Our relationship is great, except when it comes to sex… Don’t get me wrong: when we have sex, it’s five stars all around. The issue is we don’t have sex very often (like once a month at best), because my partner isn’t comfortable with his body, and has had a traumatic past. I’m trying to be patient and don’t want to be demanding, but it’s hard even discussing the issue because he gets defensive. How do we negotiate this issue better..? Is this normal? Thanks!!
Zak: I think it is fairly common for partners in any relationship to have different sex drives or want to have sex at different frequencies. It is also fairly common for trans* guys to experience dysphoria during sex or to otherwise have difficulties in that arena. One of the tough things about this is that it is important not to make your partner feel pressured to have sex more often, although it IS good to communicate your feelings with him and not keep things bottled up. He is probably defensive with you because he feels frustrated or feels like he has a lack of control over the situation. He may very well wish to have sex more often but feel roadblocks like dysphoria or PTSD standing in his way.
If at all possible I would recommend that he go to therapy or talk to his therapist about these issues. It might also be useful for the two of you to have some therapy sessions together to discuss the issue in a safe space. If that isn’t possible or desirable, though, I’d recommend you create a safe space together where you can discuss your sex life. Ask him if he would be okay with talking about your sex life and relationship sometime and set up a time together when sex isn’t expected and things are otherwise calm to have a conversation about things. Share your feelings with him and ask if there’s anything you think the two of you could do to make sex more comfortable for him. If he’s unwilling to open up and discuss, there isn’t a lot you can do. However if you pick a neutral time and try to approach the topic in an encouraging and understanding way that might open up the conversation better. I’d also recommend framing the issue in a different way than the frequency you have sex. Instead it might be better to discuss the way he feels about sex in general, for instance by asking if there’s anything the two of you can do to make sex more comfortable and enjoyable for him or if there’s anything that he finds triggering that you can avoid. This might be able to cut down on his defensiveness, since it may seem less like you are criticizing him (since it sounds like he is sensitive to that). Other than that there isn’t a whole lot I can recommend. This is a tough situation that is outside of your control in a lot of ways because you can’t fix things for him or force him to work through his issues around sex. Just try to be supportive and help him feel safe and comfortable.
At the end of the day you may have to get used to having spectacular, but scarce, sex because it very well may be that it’ll take him a long time to get over his issues surrounding sex or that they will persist (particularly since he had a traumatic past and that can be VERY tough to get over). Still, it may be worth it to communicate about the issue and see if there’s anything the two of you can do to make things better.
Zak: I’ve read that too, and it certainly seems to make sense, but I don’t know for certain if it is true or not. If I were you I would take a break from binding and see if that helps. You also might just be sick, in which case you might want to take a break from binding anyway until your cough goes away (it couldn’t hurt). Also, it’s a good idea to make sure you aren’t binding for too long at a time and are giving yourself plenty of chances to breathe deeply and clear your chest of any potential build-up (for instance, giving yourself a good cough after you take your binder off for the night).
*edit* As people have mentioned, not giving yourself a chance to get that fluid out of your lungs can turn a simple cough into something more serious. If your cough continues and you don’t seem to get better, definitely see a doctor. As we recommended, it is a good idea to take a break from binding if you are having any kind of respiratory problems.
