Art of Transliness

We don’t know about the affordability of the people on this list, but Laura’s Playground has a great list of trans friendly therapists in the US and internationally. 

Zak: I don’t know if its necessarily normal (what is?) but it certainly does happen. I think one thing that happens is that people go into HRT and surgery with pretty high expectations, and feel let down, and sometimes even worse than they did before, when their expectations are not met. Not only that, but changes slow down a lot after the first year, and so some people become frustrated that they no longer feel like there is as much to look forward to in terms of their transition. A lot of people have dysphoria early on in their transition, but have hope for a “cure” in the future that they can hang on to, be it testosterone or top surgery. The dysphoria “post transition” can feel much worse just because there doesn’t seem to be an antidote. 

This is one reason I think it is important for there to be resources and support for people who are post-transition, because I think another problem is that a lot of individuals in this type of situation feel really alone. Most of the people who stay active blogging and talking about things are the types who are very happy with their transitions and their bodies. For many people, though, dysphoria is a life-long issue. I don’t really know what to recommend in this situation other than therapy and trying to find ways to accept your body (if at all possible). 

Adrian: Your best bet is to simply call the office of the surgeons you are interested in and ask them if they take on patients that want to have the surgery covered by insurance. Some surgeons don’t, some surgeons haven’t but are willing to work with you, and some surgeons have done it numerous times. There is no database for this kind of information, and even if there were I’d imagine that it would change significantly over time as more and more physicians are working with people and their insurances to get these kinds of medically necessary procedures covered.

Zak: We can’t really speak for the entire trans* community as to what is problematic and what isn’t. There are probably people out there who think it is problematic, and some that don’t. There are trans men who would be pretty offended to have someone refer to their sex as female, and also some trans men who don’t have vaginas, so it doesn’t seem like the best way of classifying people. You can’t control who you’re attracted to, and I’m certainly not here to police that, but perhaps there is a better way of putting it.  

This depends on where you live. If you live in the United States and you’re talking about your drivers license (or birth certificate), this varies by state. Social security and passport follow federal guidelines, which does not require bottom surgery, but rather a letter from a physician.  

Zak: There are a couple of methods out there, some more effective than others. We are not doctors, though, and so you should check with your doctor about your options to be sure.  A non-hormonal IUD should be 99% effective at preventing pregnancy and not interfere with your hormones. Withdrawal is also an option, but it’s not as effective as a IUD, condom, or the pill. As a side note, testosterone does significantly lower your risk for pregnancy, but I don’t think it is safe enough to just rely on that.  

Zak: I don’t necessarily know about public online forums, other than Laura’s Playground. There are several active livejournals to check out, such as FTM Forum and The Transgender LJ community. There are private forums (based on googlegroups) I know of for friends and family of trans* people, including TYFA. There are plenty of youtube groups and tumblrs I know of that fall under this (including TMatesFTM) as well. 

We’ve gotten a lot of questions like this recently, and so we will be answering this in an in-depth post fairly soon. Be on the lookout for this probably sometime tomorrow. 

Zak: We get this type of question a lot and recently wrote a pretty detailed response. We’ve also written an article on the topic . Egg retrieval and IVF are expensive and invasive, but they are a great option for people in the same situation as you and your boyfriend. There is absolutely no guarantee that your boyfriend will still be fertile after starting testosterone, BUT it isn’t a hopeless situation either. FtMs like Thomas Beatie have successfully conceived and borne children after years of being on testosterone (after going off of T for period of time). Whether or not egg freezing is right for the two of you will depend on a lot of factors, for instance when you want to have children and how willing you are to wager on his fertility after testosterone. I recommend talking to a doctor to hear more about your options and figure out what is best for you two.  

Zak: I don’t think it’s hypocritical…particularly if you are primarily attracted to women-identified individuals, which does not include trans* men anyway. Many people identify as queer because it is a political label or is more inclusive, it doesn’t mean that they are pansexual or attracted to everybody. Your friends should understand if you say something like “hey, I know I identify as queer, but I’m mostly attracted to women-identified people so trans* men aren’t generally my thing.”