I like taking pride and joy in the ritual of shaving. Every man deserves that alone time in the bathroom, even if guys don’t want to admit it. We don’t have boobs or skirts to hike up (in most cases, at least) and we don’t have makeup to apply. So when it comes down to shaving, it’s something that should be a ritual—a fun experience where you feel like a man. I don’t see why grooming can’t be cool.” —Darren Criss on shaving. (Details.com)
Great article written by the amazing Mara Keisling with the National Center of Transgender Equality. Read this article, and then go to NCTE’s website to utilize all of their amazing resources.ryansallans)
Zak: I’ve not had a huge problem with that, the hair place always puts a sheet over my clothes that works well at keeping the hair off. I also typically shower right after a haircut so I don’t have little pieces of hair getting everywhere afterward. So… I guess I’d recommend that.
Zak: Never heard of this. Obviously it’s good that it sounds like you’re getting it checked out with your doctor. Anyone else heard of anything like this?
(Part 2 from safe to take hormones) And, do you know if they would prescribe me hormones after awhile, without a letter, if I’ve been on hormones for awhile? I read somewhere that once you’re on them you can sometimes do that? I have access to hormones because someone stopped taking theirs and gave them to me, and have been having some trouble getting a more definitive answer. Thank you in advance!
Zak: There are a lot of questions here, so I’ll try to address all of them. For starters, no, it is not a hard requirement that you’d need a letter from a therapist. Some doctors operate under informed consent, so you wouldn’t need a letter. I don’t see why you wouldn’t be able to ask a doctor if HRT would be medically possible for you in the future, given your medical issues. You’d just need to find a doctor willing to work with you and be clear what it is you wanted.
I have a couple of concerns with your question, one being that you are taking hormones not prescribed to you (or, at least considering taking hormones not prescribed to you) and another being that you are taking (or considering taking) these hormones despite the fact that you are unsure if it is medically safe for you to take them. I absolutely understand that it can be difficult to access medical care for many people and I certainly understand the powerful draw of taking hormones not prescribed to you if someone gives them to you for free. However, it is not only illegal, but also dangerous to do this. I’m sure you are aware of both of the legal and medical issues with this, but I do feel I need to at least mention this when responding to this ask. You could really be endangering your health here, you just don’t know.
I don’t know if having been on hormones before would make it easier or more difficult to get a doctor to prescribe them for you. On one hand, when changing doctors I did not have to present my new doctor with a letter from a therapist in order to get my prescription for testosterone refilled, but I did have to send my medical records from my old doctor and so she knew I’d been prescribed testosterone before by a reliable medical professional before she wrote my script. I’ve heard that doctors may be less trusting of patients that have taken testosterone illegally and that it might actually make it a bit more difficult to start T, but I really don’t know if that is true or just a myth.
If I were you, I’d seek out a doctor that works under informed consent that would be willing to work with you in figuring out if testosterone would be okay for you and start T under the guidance of a trained medical professional. Particularly since you say you have health concerns I think it is important to go to a doctor since they will closely monitor your health and adjust your dose accordingly.
Zak: That depends on how thorough the background check. Many background checks for minimum wage jobs, however, are just criminal background checks and probably wouldn’t bring up anything related to your transition (perhaps the fact that you’ve had a name change, but not much more). I’m not really sure, however, this is just what I’ve learned in my personal experience and research on this topic.
Zak: I haven’t really noticed a shift in the types of people I’m attracted to, but I don’t think it is odd for that to ebb and flow throughout your lifetime regardless of transition. Who I was attracted to in High School is totally different than who I’m attracted to now. I think your theory that you were attracted to masculine women because you saw something in them that you wanted for yourself makes sense. It’s tough to say exactly why your feelings might have shifted, but I certainly don’t think it’s odd or cause for concern.
Zak: That’s a common issue with packers, honestly. Many of them are significantly larger than the average flaccid penis, for starters, but part of the problem is how many people wear their packers. Often it takes some work and shifting around to figure out how to best wear your packer (should you point it up, lay it along your leg, wear it higher, wear it lower, or what? that depends on what you think looks best). Experiment with harnesses and what underwear you wear with your packer as well. Briefs or boxer briefs, for instance, are more likely to hold your packer close to your body (if you wear them over your packer) and can make your bulge smaller and less prominent.
As for STPs, virtually all the advice I could think of on that topic is contained in this article. I personally don’t use an STP anymore because I found it a little bit of a hassle to deal with. I just use stalls in men’s rooms, although I sometimes run into issues where all the stalls are taken or that there aren’t any stalls at all. I usually just try to find another bathroom in that situation and things have worked out fine for me so far. They can be really great for some people, though, so it might be worth trying if you’re curious.
Zak: Well, one option would be to wear more summery long pants like linen pants. That’s just avoiding the problem with your family, but it might be worthwhile if you don’t think you could get anywhere with your family and you know they’d give you crap for having unshaved legs. You could also just wear shorts and try to ignore whatever your family says. It’s hard to ignore negative things that our family says about us because these are the people that taught us about the world and are supposed to love us no matter what. However, if you prepare yourself for what you think they’re going to say and prepare a response (such as “this is just who I am,” or “I have the right to choose what to do with my legs”), perhaps that can help you with your fear of your family confronting you.
Happy father’s day to those that went through pregnancy and childbirth or searched through sperm donors and sat in fertility clinics or waited for word from an adoption agency or gladly welcomed a foster child into their home or fell in love with someone with a child in order to become a father. And happy father’s day to all those that serve as a father figure to a child in their lives.
And to those struggling with their fathers, whose relationships with their fathers are complicated or whose fathers are toxic or whose fathers have rejected them, remember that you do not owe your father anything (not even a call) this father’s day.
And, of course, for those whose fathers have been positive influences in their lives, remember to let them know how lucky you are to have them.
It is set to ‘secret’ to try and help maintain privacy, as that prevents non-members from seeing the group or who’s in it, so I cannot give a link to the group.
If anyone would like to join- I can send invites via email. Please send me an ask (anonymous is fine) with the email you use for facebook and I will add you.
You can also send the email address to the Non-Op Facebook Page if you would prefer.
If anyone has any questions/comments/concerns, please let me know!